How To Host A Party In Style
Do you want to be the “hostess with the mostest” or the “man of the hour” at your next party? Well, it’s totally possible with a little effort and a whole lot of love. Creating an atmosphere your friends will go ooooo-goooo-gaaaa-gaaaa over can be done on a budget and rather simply. You don’t even need to spend a chunk of change buying a bunch of accessories you may never use again. Plus, planning a themed party on a budget can be a fun challenge.
There’s a few things I’ve learned while attempting to be hostess over the past . . . well . . . 32 years of life. Haha!
Yes, I’m only 32 years old. Although my parents might just tell you that I started drawing a crowd even when I was a baby. From these years of experience, I’d like to share a few game changers when it comes to hosting a stellar party.
Have you experienced the phenomenon at the night when your party comes to a close and friends have left, the mess is all or mostly cleaned up, and your heart is happy 💫❤️💫. Your mind begins to race with thoughts of what the next bigger ✨, better 🤠, more grand party 🤹🏼 will look like. You instantly get that kid-like excitement bubbling up from deep within when you get a bright idea 💬💭🗯.
Or maybe on the off week, your party feels like a big flop and you wonder if friends really enjoyed it 🙃. Maybe it felt like a slow night and the energy was lower than usual, or people just stood around and didn’t do much. But the next day you get a call from someone who says, “Thanks so much for hosting that get together. I really enjoyed it and I made some new friends.”
You just never know how simply creating a space for people to connect will impact everyone who shows up. As each person gets into their own groove it becomes a somewhat miraculous experience when new connections are made and relationships are strengthened.
“The success of a party isn’t determined on the noise level in the room. It’s determined by the quality of connection and the welcoming surroundings.” Elizabeth Rose
When friends leave your gathering, what will they take home with them? A smile, bubbly laughter, peace, new friends, and some left over food are all fabulous things to come away with. YOU, as a party host have the ability to not only make someone’s night, but their entire day and even their week.
Now before your mind goes wondering, let me put you at easy with my definition of “party”. As we know, everyone has a different definition of a good party. However, what I’m here to do is lay the ground work for a “successful party”. Then you get to add in the extra elements of excitement and entertainment that you desire.
My version of a good party looks like grilling venison burgers on the back patio as friends are playing yard games, or a music jam session, cooking contest, game night, Christmas Caroling Party with special performances, tailgating by the river, and a picnic in the park.
Over time my party throwing experience has gown to includes a few more grandiose accomplishments as well. A few of may favorites include hosting the Tim Tebow Foundation Night To Shine prom for people with special needs for three years in a row, Tent America with 50 hours of prayer and worship, my family’s yearly Christmas Caroling Party, and hosting a Sedar Meal for friends and church family each year. I’m thankful for the opportunity to co-host, MC, be a keynote speaker, and perform music at many events all around the world.
Each kind of events presents its own set of details. This is what keeps it fun and exciting!
Let’s get started with some great tips for hosting your next event.
Ready . . . set . . . go!
The Overall Focus and Mood
First decide what type of gathering you’re hosting. What is the focal point?
Pool Party
Game night or yard games
Music jam session
Open mic night
Cooking contest, holiday baking with friends, pancake dinner, steak night
Pot luck meal and hang out time
Bible study or book study group
Writing group, acting group, writing collaboration
Movie night, movie night on the lawn
Christmas party, white elephant gift exchange
New Years, 4th of July fireworks party
Work party, school party, sports team celebration
Fundraiser
Engagement party, wedding shower, bachelorette party, bachelor party
Baby shower, gender reveal
Birthday party, anniversary party, graduation party, retirement party
Tail gating party, Super Bowl party
Make-n-take party and gift wrapping
Choosing the focus of your party will determine where you spend the majority of focus and planning.
For instance, if your party is focused around food, you’ll want to have all the needed ingredients, recipes, space to cook in, ability to keep things hot or cold, utensils, and a stellar table setting. Yes, presentation is secondary, although it absolutely enhances the visual effects of a flavorful meal.
If you're party is focused around the pool then you’ll want to take into consideration the weather, time of day, sun exposure, towels, chairs, maybe a speaker for music, and some easy snacks to munch on that do good out in the open for a while. If you’re planning a themed party, a lot of your efforts will go into decorating and colors, music, ambiance, and making sure that attendees know the focus of the gathering as well so they come expecting to have a fun time.
As a party attendee, I can say that the worst feeling is showing up to a party underdressed, overdressed, or not dressed appropriately. Thanks to a wide variety of styles that are acceptable these days, it’s not as obvious when a person isn’t “dress for the occasion”. You certainly want guests to know if it’s dressy or casual, and if they will be indoors or outdoors.
Creating The Ambiance
When crating the ambiance for your gathering, think about ways to engage all five senses.
How do you want your guests to feel when they arrive? How will the flow of the event go from one activity to another?
What are the first things they see and notice about the gathering space?
What will be the predominant smell in the area?
What music or nature sounds will they hear, and how will this effect the overall mood?
And lastly, what tastes will they experience in the food, beverages or snacks served?
To create a welcoming feeling, imagine if the lights should be dimmed and soothing music playing. Or maybe you’re going for the high energy party vibe and you need some colorful lighting or decorations, along with some upbeat music. Do you wants guests to be bouncing around and laughing and a little wild, or is it more of a chill vibe that’s relaxing and good for deeper conversation?
Will it predominantly be a younger crowd, older adults, or a mixture? Are the people gathering from a specific group, workplace, church, school, special interest group? What does everyone have in common and how can you make this commonality a point of focus?
Tip: try diffusing orange essential oils for a fresh scent, or Christmas Spirit for a holiday scent in order to create an inviting smell. Scented candles, wall plug-ins and air fresheners can cause allergies and be irritating to more sensitive guests.
Welcoming Guests
First things first. Make sure your location is easy to find. Use signs, banners or balloons if needed. Consider keeping the entrance door propped open. If it’s a home and you have a screened door and a solid door, open the solid one so that people can see through to the inside. Make sure there is good lighting, especially at night time, or if guests will leave after dark. You don’t want anyone tripping along the sidewalk.
Position yourself or someone else near the door as a greeter. When new guests arrive welcome them in and help them find a place to put bags, purses, coats, food, etc. Give a little tour of the event space, mention where bathrooms are and any other areas that guests are allowed to go. If certain areas are off limits than mention it. For instance, if a child is napping, or you are keeping animals in an certain area and don’t want someone to accidentally let them out. If it’s a larger event where you have VIP guests, be sure to have an area that is specifically marked for them to have access to.
This first impression is so important and will set the mood for the rest of the event. Be sure to smile, shake hands, hug, or whatever you feel comfortable doing. Just refrain from standing there like a blob as guests are trying to figure out what to do. This is not the time to be a wall flower and say the least amount of words possible. You can hide away doing dishes later if you need a reprieve from people. But the first 15 minutes of a party experience really does help set the flow of the night. If you are excited, then everyone else will come into alignment with your energy.
Introductions and Conversation Starters
Chances are, there will be at least one newbie at your party who doesn’t know anyone or who needs a little help meeting new friends. As the host or hostess you have the ability to make meaningful connections. You just never know how your introduction will impact their life. They may make a lifelong friend, or gain a new business partner, or even meet their spouse and get married because of your introduction. You just never know! The one thing you have the power of doing is a good introduction.
step one - think about 1-3 details you know about each person that you will be introducing.
step two - the introduction . . . “Hello Susie, I’d like to introduce you to Mike. Mike this is Susie.
step three - the connection . . . “Now Susie, I have a feeling you will enjoy talking with Mike about travel. Mike seems to always be going somewhere new. I just never know where in the country he will be next. He also loves to hike and mountain bike. And now Mike, an interesting thing I enjoy about Susie is that she just knows so many people from all over the place. She’s very kind and never meets a stranger Who knows, you two might have some mutual friends in far away places. haha!”
step four - hand around long enough for them to start talking. Chances are, the Conversation Starters you gave each person about the other will help them be well on their way to a good conversation. When the time comes for you to politely excuse yourself you can go ahead and move on to your next party host mission.
Some events call for a formal welcome. In this case, find a good place in the room to stand so everyone can see you, get the attention of the room and make your introduction. Don’t be shy! People are here because they want to see you shine. It’s your party! You deserve a few minutes in the spotlight.
✨ Shine Bright ✨
Multitasking
As party host you are not only the welcoming committee. You also get to set the flow of the event - announce when one activity ends and another begins, decide how loud or soft the music is playing, dim the lights for dinner or turn on the patio lights when it starts to get dark. You get to make sure little details are being taken care.
It’s one thing hosting a gathering of 5 friends at your home, or 20 adults and children for a pool party, or 50 people for a pot luck, or 100 people for a 60th birthday party, or 500 guests at a gala. Depending on the size of your event you will need to scale what you personally do and what you decide to delegate to others.
Delegation is beautiful thing when there are too many details for you to handle all on your own. Even in the middle of a smaller home party, if you discover that you’re tied up but the back door needs to be shut or the stove needs to be turned off, it’s okay to ask someone to help.
If someone asks you what they can do, go ahead and let them help. If there’s actually something you know they are capable of doing, they may feel more at home doing something than standing around chatting. If you just really want to do it all yourself or there isn’t anything you need help with then say, “Thank you so much for asking, although everything is good for now”.
Friends will know if you are enjoying the party or if you’re stressed out. If they know you and love you, they will want you to have fun too!
Get in the habit of looking around the room. You’re actively looking for a few specific things.
Are people mingling well - Is anyone alone that you can go chat with or help them start a conversation with someone else. If anyone looks distressed or frustrated, ask how you can help.
Is anyone lost - Maybe they are looking for the bathroom, or a place to sit, or where the food and drinks are.
Drinks - How’s the beverage table looking? Are there enough glasses, napkins and a good supply of water or other beverages? Walk around and and if anyone would like something to drink.
Snacks and food - How’s the food looking? Do you need to set out anything else, clean up, get food out or put it away? If you’re cooking, keep an eye on the stove or grill or oven. You may even want to designate a “grill master” so that you can come and go but not be the main one in charge of the ribeye steaks getting sizzled to a crisp.
Where are the kids - If there are children around, are they with their parents, playing well, have something to do? Even though a parent should be watching their own child, as a host, it is also a good idea to do a “kid count” every once and a while. Be extra aware of children around water, or small children putting things in their mouth, or eating too many sweets without the permission of parents.
Animals - If there are pets around, check to see how they are doing, if they are being nice to guests, if guests seem to be okay with animals around. Let guests know if animals should stay inside or outside.
Personal Connections - Who would you like to connect with? Is there one or more people you really want to get to know? Maybe you’re looking for a new job opportunity or a friend to go hiking with. Look at your party as a stepping stone between where you are at now and where you want to be 5 years from now. At least one or more people in the room will be part of your life’s journey. Simply put in the time and effort to make the meaningful connection. Plus, they need to know you too!
A Few Extra Tips
Avoid the leaches! Yes, you know what I’m talking about. It’s that one person who just wants to take all your time and not let you mingle with anyone else. It’s that person who thinks their life is the most important one in the room and you just have to make time for them. Maybe their most recent breakup requires you to go in the other room and whisper about it for 30 minutes. Maybe they have a crush on you and feel the need to prove their awesomeness by talking your ear off. Well, if you’re entertaining a full house, you just don’t have time for that!!! Find a way to politely excuse yourself, find something you need to go do, invite them to join another group of people so that you’re all together. But by golly, don’t let the leaches suck your time and energy.
Private space. If people are meeting in your home and you mention an area that you prefer people to not be in, they should respect this. They will not know unless you make it clear. Common courtesy says that you don’t just wander around a person’s home without a tour or verbal permission, especially private areas like bedrooms, office, garage, pantry, etc. It’s okay to politely ask a person to go to a different area if they are somewhere you don’t want them. If they persist, it’s okay to tell them to leave. After all, it’s your home and your space.
VIP area. If you’re planning to have special VIP guests, be sure to create a space that’s a little hidden so that they can reprieve. This can be a “green room” type setting with tables, chairs and snacks. Or it can be an area that’s roped off with signage where only VIP with name tags or wrist bands can go.
Animals vs people. People come before animals. If the dog is getting in the way, the dog needs to be put in the other room, not your friend. Haha! This sounds funny, but I’ve been in instances where the dog got run of the house. Everyone felt weird because they had to cater to the dog, make sure the dog didn’t steel their food, make the dog happy so it didn’t bark. The dog will get over it and be happy for it’s next meal, but your friends may not want to come over again.
Respect. Respecting elders is becoming a lost art, however, it is common courtesy to esteem those who are older. Sometimes it is arguable if they are wiser than you or smarter than you, but you know what, the years they have lived has earned them the decency to be kind and respectful. If it is culturally relevant in the area you live to say “yes sir” or “yes ma'am” then why not do it. If it seems more polite to say “Mr Jones” rather than “Frank”, go for the more formal version. The worst that can happen is they ask you to call them by their first name.
Honoring status. If a person is actively in a leadership position of sorts such as a teacher, a doctor, a ranking military personnel or first responder, or someone who has won awards that deserve recognition, then go about relating to them in a personable, yet honoring manner. This is contextual of course, and depends on how well you know the person, and what setting you are in. The goal is always to honor where honor is due and make a person feel valued. When introducing a doctor, for instance, they tend to like the recognition of “Doctor Steven Cane” rather than just “Steven”. It should always be the person themself who downgrades their name to a first name basis.
Goodbyes and followups
Seeing everyone out the door closes the evening for them. This is a powerful time to say, “Thank you so much for coming, and I hope to see you again soon.” If you made a plan to follow up with them about a specific thing, remind them you will be in touch soon.
Sending one last compliment out the door is a sure winner! “You looked so great tonight, Bethany!” “That coat just looks dashing on you, John!” “Hope you enjoy the leftovers, grandma Betty!”
Later that night or the next day you may wish to text all or a few of the guests with a little note. I know that after I’ve left a fun gathering and receive a text saying something like, “So glad you came tonight, Elizabeth. You really helped make the night special.” I just feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It makes my presence at the party feel valuable and like I’m wanted and needed.
If a party comes to a conclusion and for some reason I didn’t get to talk with a friend or have a meaningful moment with them, I like to text them and just say something like, “I’m so sorry we didn’t get much time to hang out tonight but let’s get together again soon.”
Now granted, every guest might not have a spot on your most wanted list. So be real with yourself and just reach out to those who you are really thankful for. If someone really stepped in to help out, you might shoot them a message saying, “you were the best Grill Master ever tonight!!!! Many thanks!”
Acknowledgement goes a long way and will keep your best friends and most wanted guests coming back again and again.
So when is your next party?
I’d love to hear about your next gathering. Or even make it on your guest list ✨🤠✨
If you need extra help planning a special event, I’m your gal.
Feel free to reach out to me at Elizabeth@lifewithrose.com or call me at 833-357-5777. I’m happy to share tips on everything from a family dinner night to a 500 person gala! Party planning is a joy and gets me fired up every time!
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Much love,
Elizabeth Rose